I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I bet he comes in French.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
