bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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