At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
