im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
