wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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