3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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