i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
