oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize