new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
