I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
