I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
