There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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