You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
