woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
