He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
