I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
