He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
