i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
