dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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