butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
