just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
