Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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