never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
