I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
