I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
