You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
