YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
