why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
