So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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