Your tits are I can't wait for
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
