hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
