Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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