I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
