Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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