im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
