so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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