The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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