It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
