They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
