In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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