In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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