You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
