and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
