oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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