the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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