Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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