I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
