I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
