Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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