Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
