its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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