How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
