Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
