I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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