it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
