If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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