I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
