please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
