Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
