New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
