Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
