dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
