I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
