I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
