K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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