You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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