if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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