so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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